Hmmmmm?

The Dow is up.  The NASDAQ is up.  The S&P is up.  Life is looking good for everyone it seems.  Everyone it seems but me.

I am actually not a complainer, not a pessimist.  I am the naive, optimistic, life is wonderful kind of person. I am the idealist who states, "This will only make us stronger" as a typhoon wave heads toward us while surfing in the afternoon.  I say, "Bring it on!"

So, what on earth is going on here?  How can it be that something like the stock market, a place where huge amounts of dollars are exchanged on a daily, no, a millisecond basis, can put me in this place of negativity?  I used to manage crises, meltdowns, emotional catastrophes at my former job - and all with ease, calm and optimism.  What kind of hold does this market have on people?

Let's recap.  I sat there, ready to jump in at my entry.  I realized I didn't have a whole lot to use because my account is simply smaller than most, so I couldn't enter the stocks that were making the biggest gains.  Okay, let's readjust.  I thought, I am flexible so I can handle this.  Nope.  By the time I figured that out those little stocks were already cruising up and flatlining, topping out.  Game over.  The days seem short here in my world.

What was that I heard behind me, "Hey, honey, how is it going?"  My husband checked in, trying in his usual way to act like he is okay with whatever response I give him but inside hoping to the heavens I didn't just lose our savings.  Such a sweet man to hold himself in composure during this learning curve.  "Just fine," my typical response.

Because, truly, at the end of the day, with no money lost, and no money gained, it is all just fine.  And, tomorrow will be better - right?