Facing the Fear, Apple Style

Up until today I loved apples.  In fact my husband and I just went apple picking, made a pie and enjoyed the whole experience.  Now, I am no longer a big fan of apples.

To be more specific, I need distance from Apple.

In reality, I was given a wonderful lesson today, and I was able to break my consistently flat streak today and make a trade!

Before I get to the positive perspective I currently have on all of today's events, let's recap....

I have learned from Toni Turner, a fabulous mentor, to not buy shares of a stock before an earnings report.  I have learned to not go with the hype of the masses.  I have learned to not buy a stock that is overbought.  I have learned that what goes up must come down.

So, when I sat there at 3:47pm EST contemplating still whether or not I should buy shares of Apple, I reminded myself of all that I have learned, and of course thought, "No, I should not buy Apple right now."
3:48pm - next thought - Google went up $40 after their earnings report
3:49pm - Apple's earnings is sure to be great
3:50pm - If Apple's earnings isn't as great, but still great, people will take some profits
3:51pm - I haven't bought a stock in 3 weeks because I second guess and overanalyze
3:52pm - I should face my fear already and buy this stock
3:53pm - Pull the trigger
3:54p - Push the button
3:55pm - Oh no, what did I just do?!

After the close of the market I saw that the price was already starting to go down in after hours trading.  I had a chance to sell, but tried to convince myself that once the earnings came out it would all be good.  I set a stop, so I was okay, even though my stop wouldn't make me happy, at least it was there.

I waited for the earnings report, saw that IBM started dropping even after their earnings were good because the report wasn't as good as hoped.  Hmmmmm,   I decided, I will sell Apple because this just wasn't going to be good.  If I sold then it wouldn't be a big loss.

Then, just then, I learned something interesting - trading can be halted right before an earnings report comes out.  And, guess how I learned that?  I went to sell Apple at a slight loss, but couldn't.  Trading was halted.  What the heck is that?  Who decided they have the power to do that?  Who made up that rule?  Who makes up any of these rules?

So, I waited for the next longest 12 minutes of my life as they reported Apples earnings were better, but not as good as hoped.  I cursed the lady on CNBC for making the report sound disappointing because I thought of how that was influencing traders who were waiting to jump back in and trade once the halt was lifted.

Trading started again and the price was a full $22 less than what I paid for it.  I was stopped out, with a larger loss than I would have ever anticipated I would have in this new endeavor of mine.

How can it be that thousands of traders out there all agreed that the direction of this stock would be down?  How can it be that they all decided this ahead of time and at the same time?  Where and when was this decision made by them and why was I not invited to that meeting?

Why did that lady on CNBC have to make it sound like Apple performed poorly when in fact that wasn't true?

I could truly point fingers all day, but now, as I sit here typing, what it comes down to is only the decision I made.  This has nothing to do with anybody else but me.

Of course, it took my husband picking me up out of fetal position while crying like a toddler to give me a hug and a reassuring, "you are learning and it is okay" speech, as well as a snickers bar and some important self-reflection to get to this point, but I am here now and I am going to try to hold onto it.

Lessons learned.

1.  The market didn't teach me today.  I taught me today.
2.  I do know the best decisions to make - now I need to trust in myself.
3.  Everything that happens in life is a gift, an opportunity to learn.
4.  I am grateful to have lived another day to learn again tomorrow.

5.  And, most of all, I faced my fear, placed a trade that I knew wasn't a good one and I survived just fine.  This can only mean that if I can place a trade that isn't good in the face of my fear, I can definitely place better trades in the face of my fear.

And, perhaps, one day, after facing that fear enough, its energy will fade away.